


Far Away From the One That I Love

by allmylovesatonce



Category: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston
Genre: Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:08:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27000232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allmylovesatonce/pseuds/allmylovesatonce
Summary: It's been an agonizing two months of Henry being in London and Alex being in New York. When an opportunity to finally be reunited with Henry comes his way, Alex jumps on it. But things don't go quite how they expected after so much time away.
Relationships: Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor
Comments: 14
Kudos: 237





	Far Away From the One That I Love

Alex walks in the door and does three things. 

  1. Flops his bag down on the floor
  2. Throws himself down on the couch
  3. Pulls out his phone to call Henry 



It’s been an exhausting day and an even more exhausting week and he’s had to go through it all without Henry there at the end of the day. It feels like a federal crime. 

As the phone rings, Alex starts to get nervous that Henry might not answer. He’s not sure what he’ll do if he has to accept that Henry’s already asleep. He looks at the clock on the wall and figures Henry isn’t in bed at 11:00 pm. 

Finally, he answers and Alex gets to hear his voice. It’s an immediate balm for the soul. 

“Baby!” he nearly croons in reply. 

“Ugh, it’s good to hear your voice,” Henry says, making Alex feel somewhat better for what a reaction he had to hearing Henry’s voice. “How are you?” 

“Eh,” Alex says. “I’m just okay.” 

“Is it your internship? I thought you were enjoying it.” 

“It’s fine. It’s not the kind of law I want to do, but my advisors said I need to dabble in lots of different areas to quote “know for sure” even if I’ve wanted to do civil law since I decided to go to law school at all.” 

“So you are enjoying it or you aren’t enjoying it?” Henry asks, sounding a bit confused. 

“Like I said, it’s fine. The reason I’m just okay is because I fucking miss you.” 

Henry hums on the other end of the call. “Well, yes, I rather understand that. I’m bloody miserable here in London without you.” 

“At least you have David. I’m left all alone in this big house without either of you.” 

Henry snorts out a laugh. “Should I send David on a private plane for you to have him with you?” 

Alex wants to laugh at the mental image of David having a jet all to himself, but the laugh just doesn’t come. “No, you should just put your ass on a plane and come back to me.” 

Henry sighs. “You have no idea how much I want to.” 

“Today has officially been a month and a half,” Alex tells him. “Six fucking weeks of separation.” 

“I know,” Henry says in a regretful tone. “And believe me, I hate it too, Alex. When I was asked to come back to London, I certainly didn’t think it would be for this long. I’ve tried to tell her that I have things to attend to in New York —” 

“Like your painfully neglected boyfriend?” 

Henry laughs. “I’d have mentioned it if I’d have thought she cared. Ridiculously enough, I don’t think she cares that it’s been an atrociously long time since I’ve held you in my arms.” 

“Atrociously long is the right way to put it,” Alex agrees. He sighs. “I just really miss you.” 

“I miss you too. How much longer do you have with your internship?” 

“I have another week. And then a couple of weeks before classes start again.”

There’s a bit of a silence where Henry chooses his next words. “What if you came to London during that time?”

“Do you really think you’ll still be there? Is there no light at the end of the tunnel?” 

“I don’t know, I’m afraid.” Henry sighs. “Every time I gently ask about going back, she throws five more events at me.” 

“You don’t think…” Alex trails off. He doesn’t want to voice the thoughts in his head, no matter how afraid he is of them, no matter how much he’d like Henry’s reassurance. 

“What?”

“Nothing,” Alex says. “It’s nothing. I will look at those weeks between my internship and classes. I had been planning to relax a bit, but I guess I can do that in London just as much as I could here.” 

“I’ve tried to come there for a weekend, but I haven’t been granted any time.” 

“Probably because they know if you come back here I’m going to trap you in my arms and never let you leave again.” 

Henry chuckles, though he sounds a bit sad. “I wish.” He sighs in the silence between them. “I’m sorry, Alex.” 

“What? You don’t have to apologize, Henry. You’re just as miserable as I am,” Alex replies. “At least, I  _ assume  _ you’re as miserable as I am.” 

That earns him a genuine laugh from Henry. “Yes, yes, I am certainly miserable here without you. I can assure you of that.” 

“Not that I want you to be miserable,” Alex quickly says. “I just —” 

“You don’t want to be the only one who’s missing the other,” Henry finishes for him. “Yeah, I get it. And you’re not.” 

Alex smiles to himself. “Well...you aren’t either.” There’s an almost heavy silence between them. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” Neither of them seem to really know what to say. Alex can’t really pour his heart out without making Henry feel guilty and he really doesn’t want to do that. Henry can’t promise to come home soon because he doesn’t know that he’ll be able to. It’s just a mess. Henry takes a deep breath and says, “Unfortunately, I need to get to bed soon. I have an early event in the morning.” 

Alex sighs. “Okay. Quick question, though.” 

“Yes?” 

“Are you actually able to sleep?” 

“I think you know I’m not. Are you?” 

Alex chuckles. The two of them have always been disasters at normal sleep schedules. “Not without you, baby.” 

“Well, at least try.” 

“Yeah, you too,” Alex says with a nod even though Henry can’t see him. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”

“I’ll be sure to find the time,” Henry promises. And that has to be enough. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

They say goodnight and Alex refuses to hang up the phone first. The tell-tale beep means Henry actually hung up. The knot that’s been sitting in his stomach for six weeks only grows tighter. He misses Henry so much sometimes it feels like he’ll go insane without him. It’s probably not responsible to feel so dependent on another person. But somewhere in the last two years, it happened. They lived together and Alex grew to rely on Henry’s presence. 

The last day of his internship goes like all the other days. People love him and half of him wonders if it’s just because he’s FSOTUS. Or worse, because he’s dating a prince. And sadly, just like all the other days for the last seven weeks, he walks into the door and Henry isn’t there. 

He thinks about having two weeks without classes. It sounds nice under normal circumstances to have all that time off. But without Henry, he doesn’t even know what he’ll do. He could go down to D.C., but he doesn’t particularly want to. 

The thought of starting his last year of law school (potentially) without Henry feels unsettling. Even if he tries to tell Henry that he’s not responsible for Alex’s well being, the man has taken up the role. He looks after Alex and makes sure he eats and drinks something other than coffee when he gets caught up studying. Alex isn’t sure what he’ll do to pull himself away without Henry there. 

He sits on the couch and looks around the house —the beautiful house that Henry bought for them. It feels empty without Henry, like he’s the real soul of the place. 

Alex wonders what daily life at the palace is like. He thinks of what it must be like to go around London and spend his time there. Henry could certainly give him pointers. 

It’s been happening more often, Alex imagining his life in London and what he could do there, how he could be happy there. His unsaid fear grows stronger with each passing day without a call from Henry saying he’s finally coming home. He’s afraid enough to actually imagine leaving the country that he loves and moving to England. 

There’s only one person in the world who could inspire that in him. 

Alex tries to distract himself and is more or less successful. He goes on runs and cooks for himself since he’d eaten far too many take-out meals during his internship. Nothing quite draws his attention from the fact that Henry isn’t  _ there.  _

Three days into his first week of “freedom,” he gets a call from Zahra. 

“You finished your summer requirement, right?” 

He frowns to himself. “Yes.” 

“And when do you start classes?” 

Alex sighs. “A week and a half.” 

“So you won’t be studying for anything this weekend?” 

“No?” 

“Perfect! You’re going to Scotland.” 

“Excuse me?” 

“June passed and we need one of you to go. So you’re up!” 

“Why did June get first pick? Why shouldn’t I get to pass on things?” 

“We got ahold of her first.” Alex grumbles to himself. “I thought you loved doing these conferences now.” 

Alex scoffs. “Zahra, you know  _ precisely _ why I started choosing to go to those.” 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’d hoped maybe you’d picked up an appreciation for international networking along the way. I guess not. Look, if nothing else, think of it this way: Scotland is the same fucking island as England.” 

Suddenly Alex perks to the idea. “Okay, fine,” he says, though his mind is already rocketing toward picturing himself surprising Henry and just showing up at the palace. 

“Great. You leave Friday morning.” 

“It’s Wednesday afternoon. You couldn’t have given me at least a bit of notice?” 

“You’ll be fine.” 

As he hangs up, Alex finally feels like he really will be fine. He just has to get through one boring weekend conference and then he can fly down to London and surprise Henry. It’ll be perfect! 

Alex gets on the plane, Amy sitting across from him, and he feels almost giddy. It has nothing to do with this conference. He’s not even sure what the topic of this is anyway. The chance of getting to see Henry is carrying him through the trip. 

Once they take off, Alex calls Henry. Perks of flying privately. When he answers, he sounds incredibly distracted. 

“Alex, hi. I don’t have long to talk.” 

It’s been that way for too long. Alex stills himself with a deep breath and a reminder that he will probably get to see him soon. “Okay, well, I just wanted to tell you that I—”

“Yes, I’ll be right there. Just give me one moment, please,” Henry says to someone else. Someone who actually gets to be near him. “Sorry, what were you saying?” 

“I’m going to be —” 

“Yes, I’m about to head in. I just told Gerald to give me one moment. I’m trying to take a call.” 

Alex sighs on his end. Henry clearly doesn’t have the time to talk. It’s getting to be exhausting and disheartening trying to find the time. He can’t help but wonder if this was part of the Queen’s long game. 

“Alex, I’m sorry, I have to go. At the last minute, Philip dropped out of some engagement and I have to fill in. They’re trying to brief me on it before I go. I’m so sorry. I’ll call you tonight?” 

“Well, I may be busy, but I’ll answer if I’m not,” Alex says half-heartedly. “I’ll talk to you later.” 

“All right. I’m sorry. Talk soon!” 

“Okay, I love —” 

The call ends before he can even finish saying it.

“You,” he says in a small voice to the cabin. 

“Doing okay?” Amy asks. 

“Honestly, no,” he admits. “I’m doing pretty shittily.” Amy gives him a sympathetic look. “I just miss Henry. And lately I’ve barely been able to get a call in. Every time I try to talk to him he’s busy.” 

“I wouldn’t think that’s really his fault.” 

Alex shakes his head. “I don’t think it’s his fault either. I’m just worried.” 

“What’s worrying you?” 

He hasn’t said it out loud. With a deep breath, he says, “I’m worried he’s not going to get to come back. I’m worried that the Queen called him back to England and she’s not going to let him go back to the life he had —the one that’s so far from the very specific life she expected him to lead.” 

“Have you mentioned any of these worries to Henry?” 

Alex shakes his head, not meeting her eyes. “No. He’ll just tell me that it’s not true and that he’ll be home when he can. But he doesn’t know when that will be.” 

Amy watches him for a moment. “I watched how hard Henry fought for you two to have the life you wanted. He’s not going to throw that all away.” 

He nods. “That does make sense. My brain doesn’t want to listen to logic, but that does make sense.” 

“I’m sure he wants to get back just as desperately as you want him back.” 

“Yeah, I’m sure you’re right. It just sucks. I feel kind of pathetic, you know. This used to be our life. We never knew when we’d see each other next. One of us just had to come up with some big enough reason for us to be in the same place,” Alex says. “But now, now I feel fucking miserable. How did I do this before? I wasn’t this miserable before.” 

“You got used to having him around,” she says so simply. “Before, all you knew were your quick encounters, stolen moments when you could manage to be together. But now, you’ve  _ lived  _ together. You’re used to having him there, in the same house, most of the time. It makes it harder.” 

Alex hangs his head. “Yeah, it really does.” 

“It’ll get better. Henry will come home and the half a summer you spent apart will just be a thing you talk about. He’ll come home.” 

He flashes a small smile at Amy. “I hope so.” 

Alex is counting on the conference distracting him from missing Henry. Five minutes in, he’s dead wrong. If anything, it makes him miss Henry more. There are so many world leaders in the room, milling about at a cocktail hour tonight before the conference starts tomorrow. Alex immediately flashes back to going to these with Henry, staying far apart from each other, but letting their eyes scan over to find the other. He misses even that, even when they had to hide. 

He’s talking with some prince of somewhere. The man is really old and Alex has already had to bite his tongue too many times in this short conversation. Luckily, there are two other men standing there, keeping the conversation going. 

The prince’s eyes train on Alex and narrow slightly. “Wait a moment. I know you, I think.” Alex plasters on a smile and shrugs. “Are you the one who’s gay with the prince of England?” 

Alex fights back all the words he’d really like to say. Instead, he just nods and says, “That would be me.” Zahra should be so proud of his restraint. 

After a few more torturous minutes, Alex excuses himself and mills around, looking for something to do next. 

He hears a laugh from across the room that sounds so familiar to him. It sounds like Henry’s fake laugh, one he’s heard too many times, especially at these things. He wonders if someone else has managed to duplicate the cadence of Henry’s fake laugh. But then he wonders,  _ why  _ would someone do that? 

Turning toward where he thinks he heard the sound, Alex looks around. It feels insane to be looking for him  _ but what if he’s here?  _

A heartbreakingly familiar blond head turns from its group, walking in the direction of the bar. Alex’s heart feels like it’s in his throat. He crosses the room, trying desperately to get to him. It’s gotta be him. There’s no one else who looks  _ that much  _ like Henry. They’re in Scotland after all. Henry could easily be here. Right? 

He’s almost to the bar when he hears in the exact voice he wanted to hear. “I’ll have a gin and tonic.” 

It’s pathetic how much he could almost cry right now. He hates that the first time he’s seeing Henry in two months, they’re in a room full of people. 

“Make that two,” Alex calls to the bartender as he strides up to the bar. The man looks up and nods. 

Henry’s head whips back, shock covering his face. “You’re here?” Alex just grins and steps forward. Ignoring all sense of decorum, Henry pulls him into a tight hug and Alex eagerly returns it. Inhaling Henry’s scent after all these weeks apart —after it’s started to fade from the things he left behind—it feels heavenly, almost too good. 

They break apart, both of them looking quickly to the other side of the room. Henry turns to the bartender. “Cancel that second gin and tonic. He’ll have a whiskey.” 

Alex stands against the bar, finally looking into the eyes of the man he loves. “Have I mentioned how hot it is when you order for me?” 

Henry laughs. “I’d think you’d find it annoying.” 

“After eight weeks apart, I think I’d find anything hot as long as we’re in person.” 

An almost dark look crosses Henry’s face and he just nods. “I know what you mean.” He glances to the room again, but no one seems to care about them. Reaching out, he takes Alex’s hand in his. “I can’t believe you’re here. I didn’t even know you were coming.” 

“It happened pretty quickly. Zahra called me Wednesday afternoon and said I was coming. Honestly, the only reason I agreed to come was because I’d be close enough to see you.” He laughs to himself, squeezing Henry’s hand. “I never thought I’d get to see you now.” 

“You almost didn’t. Philip was supposed to come to this. But then at the last minute he cancelled.” Suddenly, Henry starts laughing really hard. 

“What is so funny?” Alex asks. He watches Henry almost doubled over laughing. It’s a wonderful sight. They ignore the bartender as he puts their drinks in front of them. 

“I’m picturing you here at this conference with Philip,” Henry says through a laugh. 

Alex smacks his arm. “You ass.” 

“God, you’d be miserable.” 

Alex manages to laugh with him. “Well, you’re probably not wrong. Even if it was your sibling that I do like, I’d still be happier that it’s you.” 

Henry smiles as his laughter peters out. “I’d certainly hope so,” he says with a raise of a brow. 

Alex stares at him, a bit in awe. “I really can’t believe you’re here. God, I’ve missed you.” 

Henry ducks his head a bit and nods. “I’ve missed you so much.” His eyes linger on Alex. “Do you think it’s too early in this function?” 

“For us to leave?” Alex asks with a laugh. Henry nods, taking a sip of his drink, staring at Alex over the rim. Alex feels his stomach tense a bit and he looks around the room, waiting to see if anyone is looking at them. He’s picturing grabbing Henry and running for it. All too quickly, he’s also picturing tearing off the suit he’s wearing and having his long overdue way with him. 

No matter how desperate they both are, they also both know that their respective teams would murder them if they actually did that.

“Probably,” Alex says regretfully, taking a long pull of his whiskey. “As much as I want to, we probably can’t.” 

Henry scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Doing your duty is the worst.” 

Alex grins at him, clinking his glass against Henry’s. “Agreed.” 

They both down their drinks and give each other a look before returning to the fray. This time, it all goes better because they’re doing it all side by side. Henry keeps his hand in Alex’s or places his hand at his back. It’s instantly more comforting than it should be. 

In a lull between groups, Alex points someone out to Henry. “See that guy over there?” Henry nods as he takes a sip of his drink. “He’s the on who asked me if I’m ‘the one who’s gay with the prince of England.’” 

“Stop. He did not.” 

Alex laughs and nods. Being with Henry after two months apart makes him feel so light and free. “I’m not kidding.” 

Henry shakes his head with a look. “And how did you respond?” 

Alex squeezes Henry’s hand and smiles at him. “I told him quite proudly that I am.” 

They mingle some more, drink a few more drinks, and wait for other people to leave first. It was a silent decision that they wouldn’t be the first ones to leave. People could get the wrong idea, even if they’ve been there for a while and even if it’s actually the  _ right  _ idea. Still, Alex is doing all he can to not incur Zahra’s wrath. He wouldn’t put it past her to encourage Shaan to make Henry face some consequences as well. 

A few different groups have started dwindling down, people leaving little by little. They take it as their cue to down the rest of their drinks and leave as well. 

Alex slides his arm around Henry’s waist as they walk out of the building. “Where are you staying?” he asks, getting his mouth right near Henry's ear. He can feel the small shiver that runs through Henry’s body. His arm goes around Alex’s shoulders and pulls him a bit closer. 

“Let’s just go to your hotel.” 

Alex looks over at him. “Why?” 

A sheepish look crosses Henry’s face. “You won’t want to stay where they decided to put me.” 

It feels like a challenge now. “Where are you staying? The fucking castle?” 

Henry scoffs. “Of course not.” He mumbles something under his breath that Alex can’t hear. Smacking him lightly, Alex makes him say it again. “I’m staying at the palace.” 

Alex holds in a laugh. “Is that supposed to surprise me?” This time he does laugh. “ _ Of course  _ they put you up at the palace.” 

“Well, that was where Philip wanted to stay and since he backed out, they just said I should stay there since it was already made up and they did not have time to make other arrangements.” 

“I guess that makes sense,” Alex says. “So let’s go.” 

“What?” Henry asks, a bit in disbelief. 

“That sounds nicer than a hotel.” 

“You mock Kensington every time you stay there,” Henry reminds him. 

“Sure, it’s what I have to do as an American —” 

“Who essentially lived in a palace,” Henry retorts. 

“The White House is not a palace,” Alex defends. 

“It kind of is.” 

Alex rolls his eyes, slowing down as he sees the car he arrived in. “Maybe I want a free tour of the palace.” Henry gives him a skeptical look. Alex leans in close and pulls Henry to him by the collar of his shirt. “Or maybe I like the idea of defiling another royal landmark.” 

Henry sputters out a laugh before (finally) pressing his lips to Alex’s. It’s been too long and it’s still too public for Alex to kiss him the way he wants to. But when they break apart, he can see Henry feeling the same way that he does. 

“This is maybe going to be counterproductive, but I’m kind of hungry.” Henry grins and gives him a thoughtful look before nodding in agreement. “Know any good places?” 

This is how later, they’re strolling through the elegant palace, a greasy fast food bag in both their hands, their free hands linked between them. Henry’s pointing out various things as they walk by, but Alex isn’t really paying all that much attention. He’s just happy to be in Henry’s presence again —finally alone. 

Henry leaves him in a room with a palatial bed, promising to be back quickly. When Alex tries to ask, he just grins and shakes his head, running from the room. In his absence, Alex takes their food and sits down on the huge bed, not caring about getting grease on the ornate comforter. 

He returns as quickly as he promised, brandishing a bottle of wine with a waggle of his eyebrows. Alex laughs, reaching into the bag and getting out their food. Henry sits on the edge of the bed with him and pulls out the cork, taking a swig right from the bottle. He hands it over to Alex and they trade food for wine. Alex takes a generous swig, wiping his chin as he swallows. 

Both of them start eagerly eating their food. They pass the wine bottle back and forth as they sit there comfortably coexisting again. Alex talks about his internship. Henry talks about the various events he’s gone to in the last two months. And somehow, the time apart that sat so clearly between them when they first saw each other again has started to dissipate. 

It feels like it always did back in New York. Alex sits with one leg draped over Henry’s. Their arms press together as they sit close. Henry reaches out and wipes sauce off Alex’s face, licking his thumb afterward. Alex watches him, feeling his reaction to it. 

Henry balls up his wrapper and puts it back in the bag. He looks over at Alex who is still eating and he leans in closer. His head goes to Alex’s shoulder and his arm goes around his back. “God, I’ve missed this.” 

Alex hums in response, turning his head and kissing the top of Henry’s. “You didn’t just miss my body?” Alex teases. 

He can feel as much as he can hear Henry laugh. “Well obviously I missed that too, but I also missed just being close to you. Sharing a meal with you, hearing about your day, telling you about mine, cuddling together on the couch to watch something inane.” 

“Henry, as I’ve told you,  _ House Hunters  _ is not inane. It’s hilarious. People have such high budgets for such bullshit jobs. Their standards are just insane.” 

“You’re literally sitting in a palace.” 

“Don’t hold your own sins against me!” 

Henry laughs, pushing Alex at the shoulder. He leans back at him, moving in to kiss him. Henry smiles against his lips and returns the kiss. Alex pulls back and watches him for a moment before taking another drink from the wine bottle. “I missed all that too.” 

Henry leans back into him and curls around him a bit. “I was quite concerned about how you were handling your internship on your own. I was a bit relieved that I never received any 7:00 am calls. I’d have had to fly back across the ocean to scold you for not getting any sleep.” 

“Well damn. I guess I should have called you super late at night. Now I know the trick.” Henry goes to reach for the bottle of wine, but Alex takes a long drink from it. “I don’t want to go back to New York without you.” 

Henry visibly deflates. “I don’t want you to either.” 

“So then come back with me!” Alex stares at him imploringly. 

“You know I want to.” 

“Then do it.” 

“You don’t think I’ve tried?” Henry cries, startling Alex a bit. “I’ve asked numerous times to go back and the answer is always ‘Here are more royal duties for you.’” 

Alex huffs out a breath. He can feel Henry’s eyes on him, but he doesn’t want to show him how disappointed he is. Henry grabs the wine bottle and puts it on the floor. He takes the rest of Alex’s trash and tosses it behind him before he stands up in front of him. Taking Alex’s hands in his, he says, “Please don’t be mad. I —” 

“I’m not mad at  _ you,  _ Henry. I’m just frustrated and annoyed and sad. I miss you and I don’t understand why you have to be there constantly. You didn’t used to do this much stuff before you moved to New York,” Alex says. He’s still not really meeting Henry’s eyes. The last thing he wants to do is make him feel worse. “I just hate that the only fucking reason we’re together right now is sheer coincidence. June passed and didn’t want to go so they told me to. Philip dropped out and they told you to go. Neither of us were even supposed to be here.” 

“But we are,” Henry says, sliding his hands up Alex’s neck and tilting his chin up to look at him. “Can’t we just enjoy that?” 

Alex looks up at Henry and he wants to feel what he felt earlier —just pure joy and comfort. But now there’s this nagging feeling at the back of his mind. This feels like a temporary respite from their separation, from their pain. He sees how much Henry is trying to reassure him and he wants to feel that. Finally, he nods and leans into Henry’s touch a bit more. 

“Yeah, we can,” he says, flashing Henry a small smile. 

Henry looks a bit hesitant —probably based on Alex’s face—but he leans down and kisses him. Alex winds his hands up and tangles them in his hair. Their kiss quickly deepens after two months spent apart. Henry pushes him down on the bed and crawls over him. 

Alex starts working at his shirt and Henry keeps kissing him like he’s the last source of oxygen. Eventually Alex gives up and just focuses on Henry’s hands at his hips or the way his tongue curves in his mouth. He lets himself be kissed the way he’s been wanting to be kissed since Henry left. 

Henry pulls back and starts yanking at both of their clothes. He gets Alex’s shirt off and then his own. He’s even somehow quick about getting both their pants off. Alex wants to joke, wants to tease him for being overly eager, but he doesn’t have it in him. He needs this just as badly. 

He’s watching as Henry crawls back up his body, smirking deviously. “I’m going to show you everything I’ve thought about doing each time I thought about coming home.” 

And perhaps it was the ecstasy of kissing Henry again that made him stupid, but Alex says, “Glad to know you still think of it as home.” 

He doesn’t even process what he said at first. But Henry pulls back with an offended expression on his face. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” 

Alex grimaces. “Nothing.” He reaches out for Henry. “Come here.” 

“No,” Henry says. There’s a hard look on his face. Alex hasn’t seen an expression like that in years. At least not directed at him. “What did you mean?” 

“I didn’t mean anything by it, baby,” Alex says, sitting up. Henry looks unconvinced and still a bit offended. “I’m sorry, look, I didn’t mean anything by it.” He reaches out and lays a hand on Henry’s cheek. Very slowly, Henry’s face softens and he leans into his hand. Alex is still worried that he’s fucked up. All he wants to do is be with Henry and be together. He’s not sure how or why everything feels harder than it should. 

He feels more than relieved when Henry leans in and kisses him. There’s something beneath his kiss that Alex feels —fear, anger, sadness,  _ something  _ — and Alex just holds him and kisses him back. 

There’s more tension than usual in the way he touches Alex, the way his grip feels, the way his fingers slide. Even if it feels incredible, Alex doesn’t like the look of his face. A line creases in his brows, a set to his face he doesn’t usually have in this context. It’s usually present when he’s frustrated. 

No matter how much he wants him to keep going, Alex stills his wrist, pulling his fingers out of him. “Baby, stop.” 

“Why?” Confusion adds to the mixture of feelings present on his face. 

“Because it’s been two months and I don’t want our first time after being apart to be you anger fucking me.” 

Henry sits back a bit, looking down. There’s a long silence that stretches between them. Alex wants to cross the space, but something’s holding him back. Maybe it’s the fact that he can’t quite tell what Henry’s thinking. Has their time apart taken that from him as well? That doesn’t seem fair. 

“I’m sorry for what I said,” Alex starts. “I just…” he trails off, not sure how to admit all the fears that have been simmering in their months apart. He curls his knees in closer, his arms closing around them. “In the time you were gone, I got scared.” 

“Of?” 

He sighs. “I knew you wanted to come back. But our calls were so scattered with both of us being so busy and I just missed you so fucking much. I kept remembering what you said to me when we moved to New York, how you had no idea how you convinced your grandmother to let you move there. And the longer you were gone, the longer we went when you couldn’t tell me when you’d return, the more afraid I got that you wouldn’t.” Henry opens his mouth, but Alex keeps speaking. “I was afraid that you  _ couldn’t  _ come back.” 

“You think I wouldn’t fight?” Henry asks in a small voice. 

“Of course I think you would, but I didn’t know how much it would matter.” Alex huffs out a breath and drops his face in his hands. “I was just scared that you were getting recalled back to England, never to get to leave again.” 

Henry watches him for a moment. “Why didn’t you tell me about how you were feeling?” 

“I didn’t tell anyone.” 

Henry gives him a look. “Well that’s your first problem.” 

Alex laughs, surprising himself. “Yeah.” 

Slowly, almost cautiously, Henry moves toward him on the bed. He reaches out and lays a hand at Alex’s knee. “If you’d have told me that, I’d have tried to reassure you.” 

“I know.” 

“Then why didn’t you tell me?” 

“Because I didn’t know if you could actually reassure me. I didn’t know if I’d believe you or if I’d think you were just saying what you thought I needed to hear.” 

“Why didn’t you tell anyone else?” 

“I don’t know.” Alex shrugs. “I told Amy. But only just earlier.” 

Henry’s thumb strokes up and down on Alex’s knee. “And what did Amy tell you?” 

“That you wouldn’t just give in.” 

“And did you believe her?” Alex shrugs again. Henry shakes his head and crawls the rest of the way up the bed and sits next to Alex, their bodies touching all the way down. He reaches out a hand and rests it on Alex’s knee. “Alex, I promise you I’m not going to just not come back from London. They’d have to lock me in the tower.” 

Alex laughs, leaning his head against Henry’s shoulder. “I’ll come break you out.” 

“I’d appreciate that.” 

Alex reaches over and links their fingers together, holding Henry’s hand tightly. “I’m sorry I’ve been a bit crazy.” Henry presses a kiss to Alex’s head. “This whole long distance shit seems so much harder now. I don’t get it!” 

“Thank you for saying that because I’ve been feeling utterly  _ pathetic! _ I couldn’t understand how I just couldn’t take it this time,” Henry agrees, a smile finally spreading on his face again. 

“You’re definitely not alone. It was miserable. We just kept missing each other.” Alex looks over at Henry. “Amy thinks it’s because we got used to being with each other every day.” 

Henry has a thoughtful expression on his face. “That does make sense.” 

Alex stretches out his legs and leans into Henry more, curling more around him. “You wanna know how bad it was?” Henry raises one brow. “I started looking up jobs in London.” 

“Stop it.” 

“I did.” 

“In London?” 

“I’m serious.” 

A soft look comes over Henry’s face and he leans more into Alex as well. “I am touched. That’s a big statement for you —someone who truly loves the U.S.” 

Alex smiles over at him. “Well...I love you. And I hate being away from you. I just go a bit crazy.” 

“I do as well. You should ask Pez how obnoxious I was. I’m sure he wouldn’t sugar coat it either. I go a bit crazy without you too.” 

“You didn’t say ‘I love you’ back.” 

Henry rolls his eyes and laughs. He takes Alex by surprise and climbs on top of him. Alex laughs and Henry echoes it. He leans down until he’s nose to nose with Alex. “I love you too, you bloody fool.” Alex starts to grin before Henry kisses him deeply. 

Alex stares at him when he pulls back. “Are we okay?” he asks in a small voice. 

Henry presses a soft kiss to his forehead, then his nose, and then finally his lips. “Of course we are.” Alex flashes him a relieved smile and pulls his head back down. Henry kisses across his jaw and down his neck, starting to speak between kisses. “I was thinking…” 

When he nips at one spot and Alex’s hands tighten their grip. “How are you  _ thinking  _ right now?” 

Henry chuckles as he presses a kiss to Alex’s collarbone. He can feel it. “I was thinking that maybe you could come back to London with me for a bit. Since you’re over here.” 

“Yeah,” Alex pants, his fingers tangling and pulling in Henry’s hair as his hand finds Alex’s dick. “Oh! Uh, that was the plan.” 

Henry moves his hand slowly up and down, in just enough rhythm to have Alex squirming. He’s still kissing and biting his way across his body. “I know classes will start soon. But I —” 

Alex yanks his head up so he can meet his eyes. Henry almost looks surprised by the action. “Baby, I’ll be there. Now will you stop talking?” 

He laughs loudly, leaning down to kiss Alex. “This is a real role reversal for us.” 

Alex laughs with him, though it turns into a moan as Henry starts working his hand again. “Show me…” Alex pants. “Show me what you’ve wanted to do.” 

Henry gets a dark, almost devious look on his face before he leans in and kisses him sinfully. His hand is still moving, pumping at the pace as his tongue is moving against Alex’s. It’s a full body experience and Alex is losing his mind. 

He starts pumping his hand in and out of Alex, stretching him for what’s to come. Kissing Alex, he adds another finger and Alex moans into him. He can feel Henry smiling against his lips. Henry pulls back, hovering over him as he continues his movements. The look on his face now is perfect. It’s determination and desperation —everything it should have been before. Alex feels even more glad he stopped him and made them talk. 

“I’m ready!” Alex cries out. He grabs onto Henry’s shoulder. “Baby, I’m ready. God, I want you.” 

Henry keeps his eyes on him as he lines up and pushes in. Both of them cry out loudly. After two months, it feels so good and like too much. Henry’s still within him, getting used to it just as much as Alex is. Finally, he nods to him and Henry starts moving. His hips pull back and drive in, setting a thrilling pace. Alex pulls him close, claws at his back, and swears at the ornate ceiling. 

He looks up at Henry and their eyes lock. They hold each other’s gaze as they rock together, both of them trying to channel everything from their time apart into this one moment. 

Maybe it’s the time since he’s had this, maybe it’s just Henry, but Alex feels like he’s going over the edge quickly. He grabs Henry’s hand and moves it to his cock. Henry smirks at him and moves his hand in time with his hips. Alex moans as he comes, holding onto Henry tightly. He’s right behind him, collapsing next to him when he’s done. 

Both of them are panting, weak from exertion and blissfully happy. Henry smiles brilliantly at Alex, running his fingers through his hair. “I know I’ve said it a hundred times this evening,” Henry breathes, “but Christ, I’ve missed you.” 

Alex grins lazily back at him and leans in to kiss him. 

After more talking, more drinking, and maybe another round, Alex finds himself fading. His last thought before he falls asleep is that he hopes Henry set an alarm. 

He wakes up slowly, unsure what the noise in the room is. Reaching out, he expects to find Henry’s body next to him, but he just finds the empty bed. Alex opens his eyes blearily. Henry is pacing in front of the bed. He hasn’t noticed yet that Alex is awake. Apparently he was the noise Alex heard while he was waking up. 

“Yes, as I said, I’m needed there.” 

Alex can’t really keep his eyes open in the light, but he listens to Henry’s side of the conversation. 

“Well, all right then.” Alex peeks open one eye and sees Henry nodding. He wonders who the hell he’s on the phone with. 

“Good. All right. Goodbye.” 

He hangs up the phone and stands there for a moment, heaving a deep breath. 

“Who was that?” Alex asks, still half asleep. 

Henry nearly jumps, turning to look at him. “I didn’t wake you up, did I?” Alex shakes his head. Henry sits on the end of the bed, squeezing Alex’s foot when his hand finds it. “That was Gran.” 

Alex groans and rolls his eyes. “And what do you have to do next?” 

He smiles in reply. “Well, that’s actually the thing. I told her I wouldn’t be doing anything next. I informed her that this is my last royal engagement for the summer and that I shall be returning to New York where I’m urgently needed.” 

Alex can’t quite believe it. Still, there’s a buoyant feeling rising within him. Henry’s  _ finally  _ coming home. He wonders who he has to thank for such a treat. “Did the shelter call you?” With a chuckle, Henry shakes his head. “But you said you were urgently needed.” 

“I did,” Henry confirms. “I meant by you. I just didn’t tell her that.” He has a devious smirk on his face and it’s possible this is the most Alex has ever loved him. 

“Are you serious?” He nods. Alex flings himself forward and wraps his arms tightly around Henry. “You’re really coming back?” 

“I am. I’m a bit worried that I could have done so sooner, given her reaction. She didn’t even fight me on it when I just  _ told  _ her I was leaving. Maybe all the times I posed it as a question, she thought it was fine to just tell me no. But when I said it, no questions, she said fine.” 

Alex laughs, leaning his forehead against Henry’s neck. “Maybe all summer, she’s just been giving you a lesson in being assertive.” 

Henry snorts. “If she was, then fuck her. I’ll just say no every time from now on.” He pulls back a bit so he can look at Alex. “So what do you say to coming to London with me after this is over and helping me pack all my things?” 

A smile spreads across Alex’s face. “I say it’ll be my favorite thing I’ve done all summer.” 

“Including last night?” Henry asks, a concerned look on his face. 

Alex laughs as he leans in to kiss him. “Okay,  _ second  _ favorite.” 

Now that he knows Henry’s coming home with him, the rest of the conference feels like a breeze. So there are annoying or judgmental people? Who cares, he has Henry by his side. 

They fly back to London on Sunday after breakfast and Alex holds Henry’s hand the whole time. He tells Henry to get used to his clinginess and Henry assures him that he doesn’t mind. 

Alex sits on his bed in Kensington, holding David on his lap. Henry is running around as quickly as he can to get all his things together. For all the help Alex promised to give, he’s just critiquing Henry’s packing and petting the dog. Henry gives him a look every now and then, but they’re both too happy to press the issue. Quick goodbyes are given to his family. Neither Bea nor his mother seem surprised at how quickly he’s hightailing it out of the palace, especially with Alex right behind him. 

When they’re at cruising altitude, Alex climbs into Henry’s seat with him and curls against him. “You know, I’ve been thinking.” 

“A dangerous activity,” Henry teases. 

Alex swats his stomach, but laughs. “I was just thinking that maybe the next time you get summoned to London, I should go with you.” 

Henry looks over at him, a hint of surprise on his face. “You’d really want to?” 

“I don’t hate London, I just hate your grandmother.” Henry laughs. Alex can tell that he’s still uncertain. “I can’t handle long distance again. Not for this long. Hell, I don’t love it when you’re gone for a few days. So, maybe the next time you go, I’ll just go with you. You know, if I can. What do you think?” 

Henry smiles brightly at him. “I think that’s the best idea you’ve had in a while.” 

“I’m a little offended by that, but I’ll let it go.” Alex leans his head on Henry’s shoulder and tightens his arms around his waist. He feels Henry pull him closer to him til he’s nearly on top of him. 

“It’s good to be home,” Henry sighs, his eyes closed. 

Alex looks up at him, confused. “You’re not home yet. You’re still on a plane.” 

Henry glances down at him, giving him a disapproving look. “You’re a fool if you don’t know that  _ you’re  _ my home.” 

With a smile, Alex kisses him softly. And suddenly, everything from the past two months makes sense. Alex was out of sorts while (seemingly) at home. It’s because all along, Henry’s been his home. He reaches up and presses a hand to the necklace with the key and Henry’s signet ring. They lay against each other just like he and Henry do. Two homes, side by side. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you read Best Kept Secrets, I'm hoping to update that again soon! 
> 
> Feel free to come chat with me on tumblr! I'm three-drink-amy!


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